The Art of the Retort

Percival Penhaligon, whose suits were so impeccably tailored they seemed to judge lesser fabrics, peered through his monocle at a modern sculpture. 'Ah, the delicate interplay of form and shadow,' he pontificated, his voice resonating with an air of self-importance usually reserved for parliamentary debates. 'One must possess a discerning eye, wouldn't you agree, to truly appreciate the nuanced genius?'

He turned to Beatrice, who was meticulously sketching a bewildered pigeon outside the gallery window. She hummed, a sound that managed to convey both agreement and profound disinterest.

'Indeed,' Percival continued, warming to his invisible audience. 'The way the artist has captured the ethereal essence, the very soul of…' He paused, gesturing vaguely at the cluster of welded metal. '…of whatever this is meant to be.'

Beatrice finally looked up, her pencil pausing mid-feather. 'It's a metaphor for the existential angst of a stapler running out of staples, I believe,' she offered, completely deadpan.

Percival blinked. 'An intriguing interpretation, certainly. But I was referring to the raw emotionality, the visceral impact!'

'Oh, it certainly has impact,' Beatrice agreed, resuming her pigeon. 'Much like stepping on a rogue Lego brick in the dark. Visceral, yes. Emotionally raw? Absolutely. Especially if it's a particularly pointy Lego brick.'

Percival's jaw slackened. 'Are you suggesting this piece of avant-garde brilliance is comparable to… a child's toy?'

'Only in its profound ability to elicit a sharp, involuntary yelp,' Beatrice replied, shading a wing. 'And the subsequent desire to swiftly remove it from one's immediate vicinity. Though, to be fair, the Lego brick generally comes with clearer instructions.'

Percival, utterly deflated, adjusted his monocle, which for once, seemed to sag in defeat. 'I… I believe I need a moment to process the depth of your… insight.'

'Take all the time you need,' Beatrice said kindly, finally looking at him with a genuine smile. 'Art, after all, is meant to provoke thought. Or, failing that, at least a good chuckle.'