The Day Synergy Died (A Little Bit)

Barry slumped into the ergonomic-but-still-uncomfortable chair, dread pooling around his ankles like lukewarm coffee. Today was "SynergySprint 2000," led by "Mindfulness Mike," whose bio described him as a "Certified Corporate Cohesion Coach" and "Aura Aligner." Mike, a man whose enthusiasm could power a small city, clapped his hands together with the force of a small sonic boom.

"Alright, team!" he boomed, "Who's ready to unlock their inner proactive paradigm shifter?!"

A few tentative 'woops' echoed from the sales department. Barry remained stoic.

Mike then unveiled the first exercise: the "Trust-Fall-from-Your-Desk-Chair." The goal, apparently, was to learn to rely on your colleagues to catch your falling office chair *before* your head hit the conference room table. The collective nervous coughs could have started an epidemic.

"Barry," Mike beamed, singling him out with a predator's precision. "You look like a man ready to embrace vulnerability! Show us how it's done!"

Barry, a man whose idea of vulnerability was admitting he occasionally used Comic Sans, slowly swiveled his chair. "Mike," he began, his voice flat, "I appreciate the initiative, but my ergonomic assessment form from 2019 clearly states a pre-existing lower back condition. Furthermore, company policy, Section 7B, subsection 'Office Furniture Integrity,' prohibits using company property in a manner inconsistent with its primary function, i.e., sitting."

Mike's smile wavered, a flicker of professional panic in his eyes. "But... synergy, Barry! Trust! Interconnectedness!"

"Interconnectedness," Barry countered, adjusting his tie, "is best achieved by ensuring the projector works consistently and that the coffee machine is always stocked. Perhaps we could pivot to a 'Proactive Coffee Refill Readiness' exercise? I find a well-caffeinated workforce is inherently more synergistic than one with potential concussion claims."

The room erupted in relieved, slightly nervous laughter. Mike, deflated, scratched 'Trust-Fall-from-Your-Desk-Chair' off his whiteboard. Barry leaned back, his back perfectly un-synergized, and silently declared victory.