The Existential Playlist

Brenda collapsed onto her sofa, a victim of Monday-morning-on-a-Tuesday fatigue. "Alexa," she sighed, "play something that captures the essence of three weeks of laundry judging me, mixed with the faint smell of burnt toast from last week, and the unshakeable feeling that my phone is always at 1%." A moment of digital processing. Then, Alexa’s serene voice chimed, "Playing 'Laundry Day Blues' followed by 'Toast Trauma Ambient' and a 30-second loop of a 'low battery' notification sound. Would you like me to order a new charging cable?" Brenda stared, mouth agape. "Alexa, that's... terrifyingly accurate. And profoundly unhelpful." She grabbed a half-eaten bag of chips from the cushion. "Fine. How about something that complements passive-aggressive snacking while contemplating the meaninglessness of folding socks?" "Searching for 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen, starting at the 'Mama, just killed a man' segment," Alexa announced. "Followed by a tutorial on advanced sock-folding techniques. Would you like me to add extra large Doritos to your shopping list?" Brenda barked a laugh, nearly choking on a chip crumb. "You know what, Alexa? You're a digital sadist. And I think I love you."