The Fact-Filled First Date

Liam, a man who firmly believed a first date was a prime opportunity to showcase one's encyclopedic knowledge of... well, everything, adjusted his glasses. "Did you know," he began, stirring his latte with the meticulousness of a surgeon, "that the average cloud weighs approximately 1.1 million pounds? And yet, they float."

Chloe, who had just managed to steer the conversation away from the etymology of 'sandwich', took a slow sip of her own latte. "Fascinating, Liam. I always assumed they were just cotton candy for giants."

Liam chuckled, a sound like a thesaurus opening. "A charmingly unscientific hypothesis! But consider the migratory patterns of the Arctic Tern. They travel over 49,000 miles annually. Imagine the frequent flyer miles!"

Chloe blinked. "I'm trying to imagine what you order at a restaurant if the menu only listed 'Arctic Tern'."

Liam missed the sarcasm entirely. "Ah, a valid point. Perhaps a flight of migratory birds, ethically sourced, of course. But speaking of things that fly, the fastest gust of wind ever recorded on Earth was 253 miles per hour, in Oklahoma. The mind boggles."

Chloe leaned forward, a slow smile spreading across her face. "Liam, my mind is currently boggling at the fact that we've been here an hour and I still don't know what you do for a living, but I could write a dissertation on atmospheric conditions and avian endurance."

Liam beamed. "I'm a data analyst! I analyze data. It's quite thrilling, actually. Like uncovering the hidden patterns of the universe, one spreadsheet at a time. Much like how the mantis shrimp has 16 types of photoreceptors, compared to our humble three. Can you even *imagine* seeing in ultraviolet and polarized light simultaneously?"

Chloe paused, taking a final, decisive gulp of her latte. "You know, Liam, I *can* imagine it. And right now, my 16 photoreceptors are all screaming for a quiet evening with a documentary that doesn't feel like a pop quiz on obscure natural phenomena. But thank you for the fascinating lesson. I think I just earned a PhD in 'First Date Overload'."