The Mandatory Fun-pocalypse

It began innocently enough, with an email subject line that promised 'Elevating Engagement & Enhancing Enthusiasm.' What it delivered was 'Mandatory Fun Fridays.' Our CEO, Brenda – a woman who communicated exclusively in motivational poster platitudes – unveiled the initiative with the zeal of a cult leader. 'We're going to synergize our joy!' she declared, adjusting her 'Good Vibes Only' headband.

The first 'fun' activity was 'Team Building Jenga: Stack Your Success.' Each block had a KPI written on it. Knocking it over meant you'd 'disrupted the workflow paradigm' and had to do five burpees. Kevin from accounting, a man whose natural habitat was a spreadsheet, looked like he'd seen a ghost when he accidentally toppled the entire tower, narrowly avoiding a burpee penalty because Brenda decided to 'pivot to a celebratory clap-off.'

The following week brought 'Synergy Bingo,' where squares included things like 'Witnessed spontaneous collaboration' or 'Heard an innovative idea.' The prize? A five-minute one-on-one 'brainstorming session' with Brenda. The entire office actively tried *not* to win. When intern Sarah, whose only goal was to make it to Friday without being noticed, accidentally yelled 'BINGO!' because she genuinely thought she'd found a stapler, the collective groan was almost audible. Brenda, however, beamed. 'This is exactly the kind of vibrant energy we need!'

As the weeks wore on, Mandatory Fun Fridays devolved into a macabre performance. We built marshmallow and spaghetti towers representing 'structural integrity in challenging markets,' and competed in 'office chair races' that violated every safety regulation known to man. Each Friday, as the clock ticked towards 5 PM, a palpable sense of existential dread hung in the air, only momentarily lifted by the knowledge that we had survived another session of Brenda’s benevolent tyranny. At least until next week.