The Pun-ishing Day

Arthur groaned, not at the alarm, but at the thought of facing Penelope next door. Penny, as she insisted on being called, wasn't just a neighbor; she was a *knead*-lessly relentless punster. Today, Arthur had a *loaf*-y feeling it was going to be a particularly *rye*-p day.

He tried to *dough*-dge her by leaving early, but as he stepped out, Penny emerged, apron-clad, from her bakery. "Morning, Arthur! Looking a little *sour dough* today, aren't we? Don't be *crust*-y!"

Arthur forced a smile. "Just *flour*-ished to be up early, Penny." He regretted it instantly.

Penny beamed. "Oh, you're learning! You just *kneed* to embrace it! I'm *baking* on you to come around." She held up a freshly baked baguette. "Care for a *roll* in the hay? I mean, a roll *with* your coffee?"

Arthur, clutching his head, *bread*-ded for his car. He drove to work, where his boss, Mr. Timber, started the meeting. "Right, team, we need to *nail* this project. We can't afford to be *board* today. We've got to *wood* this opportunity!"

Arthur sighed, his internal monologue screaming, "Not *wood* again!"

Later, at lunch, he complained to his colleague, Brenda. "Everyone's just so *pun*-derful today, Brenda. I can't *bear* it."

Brenda, chewing her sandwich, blinked. "Oh, *bear* with it, Arthur. You're just *fur*-tunate to be surrounded by such *grizzly* wit!"

Arthur dropped his fork with a clatter. "That's it!" He stormed out, only to bump into a street musician. "Watch it, pal!" the musician grumbled. "You nearly *broke my heart*... and my violin!" He then winked. "Just a little *string* theory."

Arthur collapsed onto a park bench, his head in his hands. A bird landed next to him, chirping. "Even the birds are *chirp*-ing up puns!" he muttered. "This day is truly *for the birds*." He looked up, a wry smile finally forming. "Maybe... maybe I just need to *rise* to the occasion."

He marched back towards Penny's bakery. "Penny!" he called.

She emerged, dusting flour from her hands. "Oh, Arthur, what a pleasant *surprise*! Have you *crust*-ed in the power of puns?"

Arthur grinned. "Penny," he said, holding up a finger, "I think you're *loaf*-ing around too much. It's time to *bake* a stand against this nonsense... or at least, *lettuce* agree to disagree."

Penny's eyes widened. "Why, Arthur! You're *on a roll*! I knew you had it in you!"

Arthur, for the first time, felt a flicker of something other than dread. Maybe, just maybe, if you can't beat 'em, you *yeast* join 'em.