The Great Office Pothole of Synergy

“Welcome to Synergy Corp, Liam!” chirped Brenda from HR, handing intern Liam a bewilderingly thick manual titled 'Leveraging Human Capital for Optimal Synergistic Outcomes'. Liam, fresh out of college, felt a tremor of fear. His first task: 'facilitate a dynamic cross-departmental synergy sprint to iron out the logistical friction points.' He nodded sagely, pretending he hadn't just mentally translated that to 'help Marketing and Sales stop bickering about staplers.'

A week in, Liam was drowning in corporate speak. Everything was a 'paradigm shift,' a 'deep dive,' or a 'blue-sky thinking session.' Then came the email: 'Urgent! All hands on deck! We need to address the gaping pothole in our foundational infrastructure. It's a critical impediment to our operational flow. Immediate action required to mitigate impact and ensure seamless functionality.'

Liam, picturing a literal, car-swallowing chasm in the office floor, grabbed a 'Wet Floor' sign and a bright orange traffic cone from the janitor's closet. He sprinted to the main office, yelling, “Where is it?! The pothole! Is anyone hurt?!”

The entire floor looked up from their screens, bewildered. Mark from IT, a man whose face was usually fixed in a permanent state of exasperation, slowly lowered his coffee cup. “Liam,” he said, “the 'pothole in our foundational infrastructure' is... the outdated coffee machine that keeps giving everyone decaf when they asked for espresso.”

Liam stared at the cone, then the 'Wet Floor' sign, then the sputtering coffee machine. He suddenly understood 'logistical friction points' much, much better. He also decided his next 'synergy sprint' would involve actual coffee. Strong, caffeinated coffee.